Well at least nobody calls me Panda! That would be humiliating. I’m Rod – short for Roderick and I’m proud of my name. I don’t hide behind bellicose, ursine pseudonyms to disguise who I am. I also go by Ruairidgh, Rory, Roddy, Evilroody, and Schwamper. Rob, Ron, Rot, Rat or other variations on the R-theme are not recognised. You can also call me rotund or round but these, while accurate, are adjectives and not proper nouns.
The only time I can be Frank is when I am casting aspertions on Ireland and the wee, deranged people who come from that wretched island. It’s true that the Scots came from Ireland but at least we had the good sense to pack up and leave when we saw who our neighbours were!
Good riddance, I say!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
Cheers and good gaming.
Rod Robertson.