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March, 2009

After a month of laying low the team had recovered enough to start looking for action again. 4PLAY just about had enough of 2SEXY watching the same episode of MacGuyver over and over. He was building a bomb to end it all.

Luckily 3SOME knew a guy from prison who knows a guy, who married a guy, who was neighbor to a guy, who could help them. He came back holding a thick manila folder. Spreading the content across the floor, the team went through the new intel. The Department of Animal Control has a common enemy with a Mr Keyser Soze, who used to profit from smuggling raw manure for the Organic Agriculture Promotion Agency. It seems the OAPA got greedy and cut out the middle man, smuggling the manure themselves. Mr Soze was not happy.

2SEXY took command of the operation, her Masters in Marine Biology made the the most qualified for maritime operations.

Their target the manure smuggling ship ‘Smelly Cat’.

There are three objectives, the bridge, the engine room, accessed through a hatch at the stern and confirm the cargo, the hatch forward of the ship. Team ODD will confirm the cargo before doubling back along the port side of the ship so the whole team could assault the stern together.

The team doggy paddled their stealth insertion craft out into the ocean and laid in wait in the path of their target. The hermit crabs sat this one out, boats bring back traumatic memories.

A sentry stood sentry on the stern deck while another patrols the length of the ship. The team waited for the sentry to walk away before climbing aboard.

All went well until 4PLAY climbed aboard. The sentry decided to take a shortcut and popped right in front of 2SEXY. 2SEXY was the first two recover from the surprise and pulled her trigger. The sentry dove for cover out of reflex, bullets riddled his body as he olympic dived overboard (rolled a snakeye). 1LOVE was still looking around to see what was going on when 3SOME rushed passed him to check their assigned objective, checking the forward hatch. A good lungfull later, YUP! Manure!


Alerted more bad guys came up from the engine room. The team took advantage of the confusion while the bad guys searched around moving up and taking cover. More bad guys kept coming out on deck, including some well equiped guys.

A sentries came down the starboard side steps, spotted 2SEXY, called his friends, and took aim but got shot before he could pose a threat. His friends on the bridge shot back but didn’t hit anything, the one on the port side was particuarly unlucking popping up to 1LOVE’s waiting aim and and took a series of bulets to the head (three 6s). The other bad guys rushed up starboard side, leaving portside unguarded. 3SOME rushed down hoping to get under the bridge while 1LOVE was covering him but slipped and landed next to 1LOVE. 4PLAY took a shot at the remaining enemy on the bridge but his target had high ground and was already looking for something to shoot at. 4PLAY went down in a pool of blood (I don’t think he survived a mission yet).

Badguys came up starboard side but couldn’t see 2SEXY. The guy on the bridge saw her though and took a shot but couldn’t hit her in her hiding place. 2SEXY stayed put while 1LOVE circled around with 3SOME close behind him, flanking the defenders. He took a shot at the trailing guy, scoring another kill.

A whole lot of nothing happened as the badguys and 2SEXY traded shots and hit nothing, so 2SEXY decided to buid a barracade out of chewinggum and scrap paper.

1LOVE flanked 2SEXY’s attacker and shot him, but the Tango only staggered, he must be wearing a ballistic plate. 3SOME continued towards the stern, leaving his teammates to do the fighting. 1LOVE fired again but his target did a matrix dodge and managed to avoid all the bullets. The one of the bridge kept looking back and forth couldn’t decide to shoot at 1LOVE or 2SEXY, finally took another shot at 2SEXY. His bullets bounced around 2SEXY’s newly completed barracade but she panicked, letting off a burst, hitting the shooter in the helmet making him duck for cover. She then pointed her still firing weapon towards the bad guy in front of her. Bullets slammed into ballistic plates, the guy stagered back and fell overboard. 3SOME ran up to the bridge took aim at the remaining enemy and missed, both taking cover.

1LOVE hurried up to the bridge saw the well equipped guy hunkering at the top of the stairs. He took a shot. Unfortunately his magazine was empty and dove for cover as bullets came his way. 3SOME took more shots, supressing the guy again but some of his bullets ricochet back towards 2SEXY making her duck back behind her barricade.

1LOVE renewed his attack, the gunfight sent both men into cover. 3SOME took advantage of their enemy changing magazine to empty his own into the badguy, riddled him with bullets and finally killing the dude.


They captured the boat and not to let anyting go to waste took it as their new home.

Not that anyone is keeping scores but, this mission.

1LOVE, 2 kills

2SEXY, 3 kills

3SOME, 1 kill

4PLAY, casualty as usual.

That MacGuyver marathod really paid off.

Tired is enough.
R-rated narcissism