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    Avatar photogreg954

    Inspired from Thomaston’s project Slow Burn. I have decided to start another project. This time with a comedy/satire take on things. How well does Starport Scum work when you add a touch of silliness? We will find out I guess.

    A solo game using the core Starport Scum rules, Story Tellers Guide and the Starport Scum vehicle guide.



    Bureau Of Strategic Services (BOSS) Headquarters.

    Assistant Director Victor Mace sat at his desk in his office. In the headquarters of BOSS “L” Detachment.

    “Yes sir, I’m about to brief our new commander of L detachment”.

    With that he hung up and called his secretary to bring in agent Kane.

    Obidiah Kane sat bored waiting to see the Assistant Director. He looked up at the wording on the wall. “Welcome to the Bureau of Strategic Services where we put the “B” back into espionage”.

    “The Assistant Director will see you now” Says the secretary from across the room.  With that Kane gets up, straightens his cowboy hat and enters the assistant director’s office.

    “Ah agent Kane, do sit down…..please sit down” Says the assistant director.

    “What I’m about to tell you is absolutely tip top secret. So, in fact I have compiled a list with those who have security clearance on the matter”.

    He rummages around before pulling a piece of paper from a pile.

    “Well, you and me obviously…..Director Glubbits…..Director Glubbits’ wife……all of Director Glubbits’ wife’s family. Their families friends; their family friends golfing partners…oh and some bloke I bumped into in the toilets the other day called Bob”.

    “I understand sir…..it’s maximum security”. Replies Kane

    “We have in short a situation. Now, agent Kane. Here’s the correspondence which I’m sure will explain everything”. Says the assistant director. Handing Kane the information.

    Kane began reading…..

    From Doctor Jones – “L” detachment clinic.

    Dear Assistant Director Mace,

    We have your test results and it seems you have gonorrhoea. Please make an appointment to come in. Also may I remind you not to go playing around at Madam Zelda’s again in the meantime……

    “Um……..Sir?”  Says Kane confused.

    “Uh….What?….Oh….Sorry wrong correspondence”.  Says Mace looking a bit sheepish and handing Kane another correspondence.

    He waited until Kane had finished reading the information.

    “We need to assemble your team….go in and find out what is going on. You are our best agent and suited to lead this task.” Says Mace. He continues.

    “Your credentials are impressive. You were the first man to climb mount Olympus Mons on Mars? And also the first man on Mars itself? Says Mace.

    “Yes, sir….thought I’ll kill two birds with one stone while I was there”

    “Oh tally ho! That’s the sort tenacity we like to see in this outfit.”

    With that Mace wished Kane good luck. He left the office, straighten his cowboy hat a third time as he went off to assemble his team and brief them.



    L detachment team or the “the L team”

    Obidiah Kane

    Traits – Mountaineer/explorer

    Team Leader


    Tom Riggs

    Traits – compulsive gambler/card player

    renowned womaniser


    Kim Oldson

    Traits – Mech pilot

    Combine harvester driver


    Ian Fury

    Traits – ex special forces unarmed combat instructor

    Black belt in Judo, Ninjitsu and Origami


    Avatar photoDeleted User

    I like the background so far. Really looking forward to this, so I can steal stuff for my own game. Are those KR16 minis? For some reason I’ve always had it in my head Star Port Scum was a humorous game.

    Avatar photoMike

    Are those KR16 minis?

    They are.

    Avatar photoDarkest Star Games

    Sounds like a good start.  Can’t wait to see a villain get folded into a crane or silly hat!

    "I saw this in a cartoon once, but I'm pretty sure I can do it..."

    Avatar photogreg954

    . Are those KR16 minis? For some reason I’ve always had it in my head Star Port Scum was a humorous game.

    Most of the minis are CP Models, KR16. The scenery is mostly former Angel Barracks stuff. I had big plans for that but my gaming group never happened. So it’s nice to get some use out of it.

    Starport Scum is pretty much open ended and very flexible. So should lend itself for a humorous game. It’s funny how character traits, no matter how obscure and silly can play a part and influence the game.

    Can’t wait to see a villain get folded into a crane or silly hat!

    Heheheh, don’t messy with Ian Fury!

    Avatar photogreg954

    Been a while, but today managed a solo game. So here we go, finally have time to make a start.


    The teams hover craft moves quickly over the terrain. Inside, Kane takes the opportunity to brief the team.

    “Ok, we are on route to the town of Anshan. Pretty much a low key junker town, until now. The town is a wash with money, it seems there’s a lot of laundering going on. So we sent in agent Hess to spy on things. A month later he gets elected as the town sheriff and hasn’t made a report for weeks. We re going in to spy on him and make sure he hasn’t defected. Also, there is a third party spy, known only as The Scarlet Pimpernel. This enemy spy has cropped up before and been responsible for multiple problems to our organisation. Hess was also instructed to spy on this spy and identify them.”

    “So we have to spy on our own spy who is spying on their spy?” Says Ian Fury

    “That’s exactly it! Top man Ian”. Says Kane.

    “So mission objectives………One, Find out where all the towns money is coming from and where it is going……….Two, make sure Sheriff Hess is still on our side, if not eliminate him……And three, identify the spy known only as The Scarlet Pimpernel and eliminate them”. Says Kane.

    “Urrr…..Boss…we have company”. Comes Kims voice from beside the wheel.


    “They don’t look friendly. Ian, there’s some hand held fire and forget launchers in that compartment which I keep handy for close encounters”. Says Kane.

    He finds the weapons and hands them out. They take up firing positions as the enemy vehicles close in.

    The chase and shoot out………

    Kim floors the gas peddle to open up the gap. Her combine harvester training coming into its own. As Iain, Tom and Kane prepare their rocket launchers. Kane fires first taking out the first truck. It stopped and the two man crew quickly exit the wracked vehicle. The other two 4x4s faired little better. Both Iain’s and Tom’s rockets found their mark and wracked both vehicles. One rocket also score a critical and one of the two man crew was knocked out.

    Now it was pay back time. The one remaining 4×4 shoots forwards to aggressively engage the hover vehicle. The goon on the back remarkably shoots straight and the hit scores a critical. The hover not only takes a structural hit Kane gets his hand held launcher knocked from his hand and disappears through the open side door.

    The 4×4 driver, sensing the situation change somewhat. Hits the gas and the vehicle shoots forward as the rear passage shoots. The rocket hits with a critical and soon a fire breaks out.

    “Quick, Iain” screams Kane “The fire extinguishers”.

    As Iain and Kane battle the fire, unsuccessfully I may add. Tom leans out the top hatch and fires his weapon. The rocket snakes off and finds its mark. An overwhelming critical hit vaporising the 4×4. Tom shouts with delight.

    “Zoom Zigg” he smiles to himself.

    With the fire taking hold Kane orders all to bailout.

    “Come on, now we’re all on foot we need to finish them off”.

    The team quickly make their way to the rock formation for cover. While the goons all regroup to form a squad. But this leaves them in the open the whole time. Kane, being the first of his team to reach the rock shoots first and takes down the first goon. A fierce exchange of gunfire sees some of the goons suppressed. Then Kim drops a second goon as she reaches the rock firing on the move. Kane gives her a look.

    “I’ve had my Weetabix” she replies just as a load of gunfire slams into the rock near Kane suppressing him.

    Two goons find their way round and open up on Iain. The rounds find their mark and he goes down. Tom, luckily reaches him firing and suppressing the goons as he does so.

    “Here’s our chance, Kim” says Kane.

    He shoots and drops one of the goons. Kim follows up but misses. The goon returns fire on Tom, who drops down next to the wounded Iain as bullets wiz all around him. Kane levels up on the last goon and squeezes the trigger sending him to meet his maker.


    They search the bodies for clues on who they are.

    “That’s enough searching now” Says Kane

    “I’m looking for his credit card” replies Tom

    “His credit card? He’s being shot through the stomach. This man is in no state to go shopping!” Says Kane

    “He’s got one too. All these have credit cards from the Anshan money lenders. They’re all local”. Says Kim.

    “Somebody knew we were coming and have organised a welcome party”. Says Tom.

    “Looks like we need a new vehicle, Tom, Kim. See if you can  acquire another” Says Kane. Looking across at the small distant settlement. And as luck would have it a used vehicle dealership.


    Acquiring a new vehicle

    Ishtar used vehicles.

    Mars Exploration and Habitation Vehicle – but we’re not on Mars

    Talin APC – not very luxurious

    MPV with satellite TV – but there’s no microwave

    Hover caravan – towed by weird smelly animals

    Van – it’s not Kim’s favourite colour

    Frontline Battle Mech – fuel economy could be iffy

    “Hello there, I’m Ishtar. May I help you?”.

    “Looking for something low key, with good fuel economy and full service history”. Says Tom.

    “Oh yes, I have all sorts that’ll fit that bill. How about a Frontline battle Mech? “Only has 50 stompy miles on the clock?”

    “Errrr…….What about that van”. Asks Tom

    “No……it doesn’t have much street cred does it? Replies Kim

    “I used to have a van like that….until the brakes failed and I drove it into a wall. Luckily I got out without a scratch” says Ishtar.

    “Yeah, which just goes to prove you wouldn’t be seen dead in one of those vans”. Says Kim.

    “Ok….what about a hover caravan? Don’t be put off by the Jurapeds. They’re genetically made. Unfortunately these are the mark1 version and suffer from flatulence”. Says Ishtar

    So, that’s roll some dice and see what they end up with. Tom is clearly the one to do the deal. Being a swindler he gets +1 for a trait. I rolled first to see what they could afford. Then rolled again to finalise the deal.

    So they end up with………The van.


    Avatar photoGone Fishing

    Inspiring work, Greg, especially as lately I’ve been thinking about using Starport Scum for some Battlestar Galactica (the original series, thank you very much!). Definitely a good deal of humour potential there as well, I think. Thank you for the post – your figures and layout look just great!

    Avatar photogreg954

    Thanks, I think this will develop into quite an interesting story. With plenty of opportunities for me to be silly. As for the minis can’t take credit for all of it. Especially the town of Anshan when they get there. Should have the next instalment up tomorrow so stay tuned.

    Avatar photoDarkest Star Games

    Some good shooting there, but bummer their ride got toasted.  Looking forwards to the next installment!

    "I saw this in a cartoon once, but I'm pretty sure I can do it..."

    Avatar photogreg954

    There was some high dice been rolled, on both sides. Each had the same weapons, but the team had traits. Kane being a leader had a +1 to activation and being the only Hero did give him an edge. Kim having a driving trait, boosted the movement of the hover. Plus they were able to fire first, which was a huge advantaged. But they were outnumbered and the goons when they got the chance really punished the them. Yeah, could of been worse.

    Tomorrow we’ll see the team get to Anshan. Where they will start to investigate the money laundering situation and meet up with Sheriff Hess. Is he friend of has he defected? Guess we’ll find out. Hopefully Iain Fury should be fighting fit again.

    Avatar photoDeleted User

    This was a funny read. Thanks, and looking forwward to tomorrow.

    Avatar photogreg954

    Reaching the town of Anshan


    The team member disembark the van and make their way to meet Hess.

    “Good to have you onboard. Sorry I’ve had to go dark, I think am being watched”. Says Hess

    “Yeah, we had a little welcome party to get rid of. We are compromised as well. You have any leads?” Asks Kane.

    “Yes, a man called John Twice. He said he has information but fears his life is in danger. So far I haven’t been able to find him”.

    “Ok, Swear Kim in as a new deputy, take her and try and find Twice. Iain, go to J’s bar and see what you can find out. Me and Tom will see what we can find out around town” says Kane.


    Sometime later……..

    J’s Bar

    Iain stops and ducks around the corner just as a vehicle stops outside. A lady of the night interrupts him and asks for business, which Iain quickly declines. He turns to face the vehicle, keen to see who it is. He knows for experience what situations are of interest. A smartly dressed man gets out followed by a goon.

    “Keep an eye on the vehicle while I go in and see J. I might have a Pina Colada or two. When I get back we’ll deliver the package to the oil drilling station”. Says the man.

    Iain thinks fast and needs to have a look in the boot and see what they are taking to the oil drilling station. He needs to distract the goon first. Where’s that lady of the night gone, he wonders?

    “I’ll thought you’ll change your mind, she says.”

    “No not me. You see that guy by the vehicle. He’s my friend and needs cheering up”

    “I can cheer any man up for two fifty” she says.

    “Here’s three. Make him ecstatic and take your time”.

    “Oh hello darling” says the goon.

    Iain waits until they are out of sight. Then moves in to pick the lock of the boot and see what they are delivering to the drilling station.

    This has four outcomes. The smartly dressed man might finish his Pina Colada and come back. The goon could finish his pleasure of the flesh prematurely and come back. Or both of them at the same time, which won’t be good for Iain…..Or they both stay away and Iain has time to see what’s in the boot.

    So that’s roll some dice….



    ……..The man in the suit comes back and catches Tom red handed. Obviously not liking his Pina Colada much. Maybe J didn’t have any those umbrellas.

    This has a few options depending who activates first. The suit dressed man could run back inside. But if Iain gets to him first then he can whack him. Since this scenario is all close quarters……..

    ……..He shouts and runs back into the bar. This gets the attention of the goon who comes around the corner and faces Iain. Who wastes no time in flooring him. Well, Iain is expert in Judo and ninjitsu. Or maybe the goon was still doing up his trousers.

    Soon Iain finds himself surrounded by people from the bar. Probably roughnecks from the drilling station. Either way his in for a fight.

    “That’s him! That’s him, that’s the car thief!” Shouts the Suit dressed man.

    Fists fly, a few kicks find the mark. Followed up by a few head butts. Unfortunately all goons were standing come the end. Bloodied and bruised but standing. Iain was on the floor beaten unconscious.

    “Lovely, jubbly. Chuck him in the back of the van lads. I know someone who might want a chat with him over at the drilling station” says the suit.

    Avatar photogreg954

    Anshan Money Lenders

    Cashier Sally Decker sat at her desk working when John Twice walked in.

    “How you doing John?” Says the teller Jim Johnson

    “I need to close my account…..I’m getting out of here Jim”. He says

    “Are you mad? Nobody ever leaves Anshan” Says Jim Johnson

    Sally tries to ignore the conversation when a secret communication comes in on her PDA. It simply reads “Eliminate John Twice IMMEDIATELY” signed the Scarlet Pimpernel.

    Sally thinks fast, she pulls a handgun from her desk and shoots John Twice in the chest. As he slumps to the floor she grabs a second gun from a secret compartment and points it at Jim Johnson.

    “Sally what have you done?”

    “Sorry Jim but you’re just collateral damage” she’s says as she shoots him.

    She then places the second gun in John Twice’s dead hand and then contacts sheriff Hess.

    “Sheriff Hess come quick, it’s Sally at Anshan money lenders. There’s been an attempted hold up!”………….


    ………..Kim Oldson arrived outside Anshan Money Lenders after following the direction Sheriff Hess gave her. He was waiting outside.

    “Oh, I thought we were going to the bank not the hospital” she says.

    “Yeah it is the bank. The decorating company gave it a new paint job last week and was given the wrong spec. We have a attempted hold up Kim, it seems we’ve found who we were looking for and he’s dead. The cashier is the only witness. She says that the gunman shot the teller, she grabbed a gun and shot the gunman”. Says Hess. He continues “Despite being fired from his job at the drilling platform. John Twice is a good family man with no prior record”.

    “Can I talk to her?” Says Kim Oldson


    ……..They go inside and find Sally at her desk.

    “This is acting deputy Oldson. This is Sally Decker” Hess introduces.

    “Are you up to answering some questions?” Says Kim. Sally nods.

    “When was it you thought something wasn’t right?”

    “When I first heard the shot and Jim fell”. Says Sally.

    “He’s the teller Kim”Says Hess.

    “What, Jim Fell’s the teller?” Says Kim.

    “No, Jim Johnson’s the teller. Jim Fell is ill, so Jim filled in” replies Sally.

    “Phil who?” Asks Kim.

    “Phil Anderson, Kim. He’s the manager”. Says Hess.

    “Okay, so let me get this straight” Says Kim. “Twice walked in and shot the teller and Jim fell”.

    “No, he only shot the teller Jim Johnson, Fell is ill” Says Sally.

    “So after he shot the teller, you shot Twice?” Says Kim.

    “No, I only shot once” Says Sally.

    “Yeah, but Twice is the hold up guy”. Says Hess.

    “Then I guess I did shoot Twice”. Says Sally

    “So now you’re changing your story?” Says Kim.

    “No, I shot Twice after Jim fell.” Says Sally.

    “You shot Twice and Jim Fell”. Says Kim.

    “No, Jim fell first and I shot Twice once”. Says Sally.

    “So, who fired Twice?”. Asks Kim.

    “Once” Says Sally.

    “Martin Once is the Boss over at the drilling station” says Hess.

    “Okay, so Once is the Boss at the drilling station and he fired Twice. Then Twice shot the teller once”.


    “ and Jim fell and you fired twice?” Says Kim

    “Once” Says Sally.

    “Okay, you’ve been most helpful, Mis Decker” Says Kim.

    As Hess and Kim walked back to their vehicles, something didn’t  sit right with Kim.

    “She told a convincing story, but I just find it a huge coincidence that the person who had some information and a possible lead ends up dead”. Says Kim.

    “Yeah and I don’t believe in coincidences” Says Hess.

    “And why would Martin Once fire Twice? There’s something going on over at the drilling station. We need to find out what”.

    Kim gets on the comms to Kane and gives him the update.

    Then a truck pulls up and three goons jump out and open up!

    Hess is instantly suppressed and then Kim. They return fire, but to no avail. Another salvo of accurate gunfire sees Hess go down. Kim gets a shot in but doesn’t even manage a suppression before she too goes down!

    The goons move up and one of them gets on their comms.

    “Both are down, what me to finish them?” Says the goon

    “No, get to the market place. Two more nosey sods aren’t minding their own business. Go and deal with them, I’ll send a team to clean up there” comes the response……..


    Avatar photogreg954

    The Cattle Market

    “Where’s all your cattle?” Asks Tom

    “Haven’t had cattle since 73’. Did get a Juraped thing. It run off anyway. Haven’t see it I suppose?” Says the owner

    “How do you make money?” Asks Tom

    “Do what everyone else does. Get loan from the Anshan bank. Interest free much as you like then pay back whenever”. Says the man.


    Kane, just around the corner talks to the stall owner.

    “I can get you bake beans but it’ll take two weeks. He over there can get you fresh dog that’ll take two weeks though and he there can get you noddles but that’ll take two weeks” says the man.

    “This place is a geographical oddity. Everything around here takes two weeks. I need a crap. You have any toilet paper, or does that take two weeks?”Says Kane.

    “Just do what everyone else does around here does and use the money from the bank”. Replies the stall owner.


    What will that a truck pulls up and three goons jump out.

    “Tom, we have company!”…………

    ……….Kane was quick to react and took the initiative. Which saw one of the goons suppressed. Then Tom, who managed to suppressed another. Unfortunately Tom got suppressed by the third goon. The next round saw more shooting but nobody hit. Kane then won the initiative and killed a goon. Tom manage to suppress the second one. The third goon opened up on Tom which suppressed him again.

    The next round could of gone either way. But Kane had the edge and killed the second goon. The last one decided to jump back into truck and escape. Unfortunately for him he got peppered in rounds before he could hit the gas. The truck busted into flames forcing him to bailout.

    He tries to run but is no match for Kane and Tom. They take him down but he’s not dead. Which could serve a purpose and allow him to be questioned!


    Avatar photogreg954

    Well, things haven’t quite gone to plan. The state of play so far is this. Iain Fury failed to complete his investigation and been captured and taken to the drilling station for interrogation.

    Hess and Kim faired little better. Both are wounded and they too failed to complete their investigation. But, not all is lost. Kane and Tom are still alive. They survived their engagement and took a goon as a prisoner. They’ve also learnt from their investigation in the market that Anshan business’s are nothing more than facades, financed from the bank. Why and by whom remains a mystery.

    So…..Tom goes to the money lenders and finds Hess and Kim and applies first aid. They both make it but are out of the next chapter. While Tom is doing that, Kane questions the goon and learns that Iain has been taken to the drilling station. He also finds out that the Scarlet Pimpernel is there.

    The drilling station is now the place to be. Maybe him and Tom can identify who this person is and maybe rescue Iain at the same time.

    First, Kane will have to come up with a cunning plan to get them in!


    The oil drilling station.

    The team move into the lower levels. It soon becomes apparent that this drilling station is fake and being used for something else. It seems there’s a cluster of rooms being used as cells.

    Tom picks the lock of the first room then they enter.

    They find a man sat on a bed. Kane immediately questions him.

    “I’m Bob, They kept us prisoner here. I was part of the forward technophobe research team. Ray was the team leader, but he couldn’t handle it”.

    “Buddy couldn’t handle? Buddy was one of your team?” Asks Kane

    “Right, but it was Ray who couldn’t handle it and he went to pieces.” Says Bob.

    “And he went to pieces?” Says Tom.

    “No, Andy was the team analyst he was alright. It was Ray who couldn’t handle it, awful how he came unglued.” replies Bob

    “How he came unglued?” Asks Tom

    “No, Howey was solid as a rock, best computer programmer in the business. It was Ray who came unglued.” Says Bob

    “And he went mad?” Asks Kane.

    “No, Andy hung tough, Ray went mad. It was a miracle he survived.” Says Bob

    “How he survived?” Asks Kane

    “No, we lost Howey the following day when he was lobotomised.” Bob continues….. “You see…..They’re testing a mind control wave. To persuade and control people. In short, take control of the world.” He continues……

    “First they tested on mice……then moved on to armadillos, dung beetles and finally giraffes. The results were encouraging at first but the human brain is far more advanced than dung beetles or mice. Well, except for maybe politicians. The human test subjects began to go crazy, insane. As their brains fell apart faster than a wet cake. They became further down the evolutionary chain than Love Island contestants”. He says.

    “Come Bob, lets get you out of here”. Says Kane.

    Tom picks the lock of the next cell.

    “Iain! You’re alive”. Says Tom.

    “I’m glad to see you, they keep us locked up down here like animals. Just look at these squalid conditions they keep us in. This jacuzzi only has three settings and the water bed is only a double and not king size.” Complains Iain.

    “Just look at this muck they feed us on…..this caviar and truffles is supposed to be served fresh this is yesterday’s and this Pinot Noir is supposed to be served slightly chilled. This is room temperature!”.

    “Come on Iain we are going to get you out of here, I’ve seen enough.” Says Kane.

    “Not a moment too soon. They would have made me go for a swim later then a foot massage”. Says Iain. Then he looks at them inquisitively. “How did you all get in here without causing suspicion?” He Asks………..


    Meanwhile…..in the stations canteen.

    The Scarlet Pimpernel sat at one of the tables and looked at Martin Once.

    “This isn’t the normal pizza we usually have”. Says the Pimpernel.

    “No, bit of a strange story. This afternoon the phone rang and it was the Pope. He said that our cantering team had been selected for the nations cricket team and must leave for the West Indies immediately. Then the phone rang again. It was a team of wondering Italian chefs who happen to be in the area offering their services. So I had the opportunity to take them on at once”. Replies Once.

    “And all that seems perfectly fine to you?” Asks the Pimpernel with suspicion.

    Once thinks hard….”ugh….Yeah”he replies

    “Your right…..no need for suspicion……Wait a minute….no Italian chef would make a pizza like this…..” he says throwing the piece down onto the table.

    “Find these chefs…..and if they have been snooping around learning too much…..you know what happens to people that learn too much don’t you?asks the Pimpernel.

    “Errrh….they get a PhD?”

    “No they get eliminated”………..



    They leave the room and make it back up to the surface. Bob shows them another route and they come up into the sub station. Which as it turns out to be a good advantage point. They watch the commotion outside.

    “That man in the suit….I know him….he’s Director Glubbits!….He’s the Scarlet Pimpernel all long!…..we’ve been sold out….A mole inside our very own organisation. Says Kane.

    What with that a goon comes around the corner and stops in front for the group.

    “What are you lot doing?” He asks

    “Um, we work here”. Replies Kane

    “In that case carry on” he says

    He goes to walk off went Kane knocks him out.

    “Tom, get his cloths on and get over there I want to know what’s going on”.

    Tom walks over to the truck and pretends to act natural by doing up his shoe lace. The man in the suit turns towards Martin Once.

    “Is that all the research material now loaded on this truck?” Asks Glubbits

    “Yes sir and all ready to depart. I’ve also packed your favourite sandwiches and those cheesey string things you like”. Say Martin Once.

    “Good, I will want a spot of lunch when we get to the transmission tower. Before we starting plugging all this equipment in. Then the mind control wave will be ready and we can send out the wave and will soon have control of the world!”. Says Glubbits

    “Just imagine Martin. A world where Wives and kids do what they are told. A world where you can persuade a politician to do anything without the need to bribe. But first we will stop off at J’s bar for a spot of brunch. Maybe some squid in ink tapas and a Pina Colada”. Says Glubbits.

    Tom returns to the others and reports to Kane with what he just heard.

    “We need to destroy that truck before they are able to get to the transmission tower and plug in the equipment. Quick let’s take that blue 4×4” Says Kane.

    The team moves off across the compound as they watch the trucks leave. When they are spotted by a goon who raises the alarm.



    The break out was relatively quick. All the goons miss their their shots. Kane takes down the first goon on a double five. The goon on the roof top gets suppressed just before Bob, (who I gave goon status) finishes him off. Iain moves in on the last goon for a brawl. They have a good fight and a grapple but Iain doesn’t do as well as I would of thought despite his bonuses. Bob moves to help Iain, but doesn’t roll enough on movement so has to stop halfway for a breather. Kane however activates and moves to finish off the goon which Iain was grappling with. Tom didn’t do a thing. Just missed a few shots.



    So now the team takes the 4×4 and chases after Once and Glubbits. So I’ll get that final AAR up soon. Stay tuned…..

    Avatar photogreg954

    The last AAR did take a little longer. But concluded quicker then what I would have assumed. The action starts back at J’s bar and the team spot the target vehicle. They disembark and Iain moves in to sabotage it. But as a repeat of when he was first there. Glubbits and Martin Once come out with a couple of goons and catch him red handed again!


    A fire fight quickly erupts and Kane, still true to form drops a goon. Once and Glubbits take off in their vehicle but getting peppered in shots and the truck losing two structure points (SP). Once shots at Tom as they drive pass and he gets suppressed. The one remaining goon makes a dash for the escort truck shooting at Bob as he did so. Bob shots back but both miss each other.

    As Glubbits and Once go speeding off down the street, Kane gets a shot off and hits. Unfortunately only having a small arm means the truck has 1 armour. Being a civi vehicle usually doesn’t. So it’s able to make a save.


    Glubbits and Once are now escaping but Iain manages to activate and lands a hit, it’s armour failing and doesn’t make the save. Reducing it SP to zero the truck is wracked. Glubbits and Once exit and this is when Kane takes down Martin Once. Cracking shot I may add, two 6s and a 5.

    Looks like Glubbits will have his day but the goon in the escort truck. Comes to his rescue. Glubbits jumps in and they take off up the adjacent street. But the truck gets peppered in shots the whole time. Leaving it with only 1 SP a broken MG and Glubbits taking a hit and getting knocked out. Despite all this the truck remains running. Bob, all this time has got behind the wheel of the blue 4×4 and pursed Glubbits and the goon. Picking up Kane in the process.


    Tom and Iain seeing everyone else take off in vehicles look around for one of their own. Then see a couple of 4x4s for sale in the scape yard area. While they “borrowed one” Kane and Bob flooring after Glubbits. Kane shooting while Bob driving but unfortunately misses all shots.


    Iain and Tom make slighter slower progress catching up with Glubbits. Since Tom forgot to take off the for sale sign. Which was obscuring Iain’s vision so he got a minus to movement. Glubbits’ goon took a wrong turn and into a dead end just as Bob and Kane arrived, then Iain and Tom shortly after.


    Tom opens up wracking Glubbits truck and reducing its SP to none. With Glubbits knocked out and the goon outnumbered his resolve fails and he gives up.

    Mission successful…….they stoped the mind control wave from being deployed. Thus saving the world! They captured the Scarlet Pimpernel. Who as it turns out to of been their top boss Director Glubbits. With only two casualties. Losing Hess early on meant I couldn’t explore this character as much as I would have liked.

    The game took a few different turns which I had to adapt to. The end wasnt anticipated at all. Kane, was rolling some top dice which resulted in a number of goons going down. The vehicle rules worked really well. I certainly would like to do more Startport Scum with a more focus on vehicles.

    That’s it for now, hope you all enjoyed…..

    Avatar phototelzy amber

    I would have sworn I posted here but I guess I hallucinated that


    Avatar photoDarkest Star Games

    Ya, I thought I did too, but it seems I missed a lot!  Sorry about that G.

    Great game Greg, and a successful conclusion for your heroes.  But now we must ask… what’s next?!?

    "I saw this in a cartoon once, but I'm pretty sure I can do it..."

    Avatar photogreg954

    But now we must ask… what’s next?!?

    Well DSG, TBH I’ve been working on my fantasy stuff. 15mm Heroquest but more on that later. As for this I would like to do another Starport Scum satire solo game. Maybe try a mech or two and see how that plays out.

    I’m back to work next week. I’ve found that time has flown and even with lockdown and no work. Haven’t had the time to do as much gaming stuff as I would have liked.

    Avatar photoDarkest Star Games

    I’m envious that you got to do any gaming at all, I’ve been the only one up at the (day job) office and haven’t been able to get in any!  It’s good that you can get back to work, as we all like to eat.

    "I saw this in a cartoon once, but I'm pretty sure I can do it..."

    Avatar photoDeleted User

    I’ve missed a lot.
    The banter reminds me of Naked Gun, nice read.

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