Home Forums General General Need feedback

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 51 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #12295
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    Knocked together a quick cover for my upcoming RPG.

    Does the cover look cool? Lame? Suggestions? 

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12296

    The font isn’t the easiest to read, but does give it some identity. The text on the top right, how about splitting it into three, title, then the tagline split into two, with each line staggered in line with the sword’s angle? You might also want to try making the gap above Metal Rogue, and below your name to the bottom of the page the same. Just a few thoughts, feel free to consider or ignore them 🙂

     

    Andrew

    #12297
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    Appreciate the suggestions! (also, this got a bit blurry, I’ll sharpen it up too)

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12298
    shelldrake
    Participant

    The font colour makes the text hard to read for my five cents worth.

    #12299
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    Yeah, I was worried about that.

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12300
    Mr. Average
    Participant

    Seems awfully generic to me.  I think you may want to consider something more vibrant and exciting.  There are plenty of artists on sites like deviantArt who would do a job for you for not very much money, I think.  I’d consider it – appearances matter in book sales.

    The title is also a little scattered in terms of its meaning.  Like, I don’t get it exactly.  It’s a string of adjectives, basically, and not descriptive if the game content.  Metal Rogue sounds like science fiction – like Metal Gear, which makes me think of Heavy Gear, and spins my mind off-subject.  And then, what does “Radiant Fire Heart” mean?  I think you need to consider that a little more carefully.

    And also, red text contrasts poorly on a grey background.

    #12301
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    Appreciate the feedback sir/ma’am 🙂

    The title is an in-joke but I’ll give it some thought. It’s supposed to sound like the love-child between an Italian power metal song and a Japanese anime show.

    You’re right it IS pretty generic. I was shooting for that but it might be too dull.

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12308
    Mike
    Keymaster

    OK, I will be honest…

    It looks and reads like a cover of a romance novel to me.

    I can imagine the metal rogue, with his fiery heart saving our heroine, and taking her on a blurry soft focus love adventure.

    For what it is worth, if it as anywhere near as good as the Five series it will be excellent no doubt, but that cover does not say fantasy rpg, well not the sort of fantasy you had in mind anyway…

    I mean this is a pal and not as someone trying to knock you. 🙂

    I think you can do better and that your products deserve the very best.

    #12311
    Not Connard Sage
    Participant

    Knocked together a quick cover for my upcoming RPG. 

     

    I’m not going to criticise, but take on board what others have posted and have another go.

    "I go online sometimes, but everyone's spelling is really bad. It's... depressing."

    #12322
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    Oh guys, don’t worry about criticizing, if it’s not good, it’s not good 🙂

    Though now I wonder if there should be a romance novel RPG… 😀

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by Ivan Sorensen.

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12363
    Guy Farrish
    Participant

    You could always try something like this:

    Dragon pic 1

    Or this

    dragon pic 2

    Of course if you ain’t got Dragons in it someone’s going to sue for misrepresentation!

    #12364
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    Oooh, I dig the bottom one a lot. What does everyone think?

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12365

    Is the Radiant Fire Heart a dragon ? If not maybe something that reflects that subject.  Or keep the dragon and remove the Radiant heart bit.

     

     

     

    #12367
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    It’s a cheesy joke subtitle. It’s supposed to mean “Your true inner power!” if it was from a  badly translated anime show or something.

     

    Maybe I need to ditch it. It’s basically there to show that characters are driven more by their beliefs than their skills and that it’s not supposed to be grimdark serious 🙂

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by Ivan Sorensen.

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12380
    Not Connard Sage
    Participant

    It’s a cheesy joke subtitle. It’s supposed to mean “Your true inner power!” if it was from a badly translated anime show or something. Maybe I need to ditch it. It’s basically there to show that characters are driven more by their beliefs than their skills and that it’s not supposed to be grimdark serious :)

     

    Now I’ll criticise…

    Very few people will get the ‘joke’, and the red font doesn’t work. ‘Improvisation’ suggests the rules aren’t complete (yeah, Black Powder. I know…).

    And there must be better PD pictures of dragons and swords out there.

    Henry Hyde is a graphic designer, perhaps a PM to him for some advice?

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    "I go online sometimes, but everyone's spelling is really bad. It's... depressing."

    #12382
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    Yeah, I hear ya. Back to the drawing board and possibly professional assistance 🙂

    Thanks gang!

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12384
    Guy Farrish
    Participant

    Ah well, who can satisfy NCS?

    (cheek about the dragon by the way! – the Red text I completely agree with, having a slight red end of the spectrum focusing problem, but that’s what the original had so I stuck with it).

    Best wishes

    Guy

    #12385
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    Yeah, the red text was a gamble but it IS hard to actually read proper. That’s what trying is for though 🙂

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12387
    Mike
    Keymaster

    I would change metal to something less generic.
    Maybe Steel, Bronze, Iron?
    Something a sword may be made of?

    I would be inclined to drop improvisation for storytelling or narrative too.

    #12388
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    Swords are often made of metal 😉

    I do think storytelling probably works better yeah

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12389
    Mike
    Keymaster

    Indeed, but the metal rogue could be a cyborg, or a golem or a robot?

    For example if someone said have you played metal rogue, I would not think it was a fantasy game.
    Iron or Bronze would suggest a more primitive age.
    But if you don’t like it then ignore it, it is not my game or my money!

    🙂

    #12391
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    Nah, I appreciate the feedback, I was just giving you a hard time 🙂

    The title was essentially a working title and just kind of stuck around. I will think about it though.

     

    Since a big part of the rules is that you can end up overthrowing kings, ruling a domain or leading armies, how does something like “Path to glory” sound?

    Path to adventure? Hmm

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12392
    Mike
    Keymaster

    Usurper

    #12393
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    <strong data-wr_replaced=”true”>Usurper

    oh that is CATCHY.

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12394
    Mike
    Keymaster

    Use a Conan style font and bob is your uncle.

    One word catchy title that sums up the flavour of the game.

    #12395
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    I do like sub titles though they aren’t needed. “To overthrow and reclaim” ? Or just keep it as it is?

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12396
    Mike
    Keymaster

    Just doing a mock up cover for you, ten minutes…

    #12398
    Mike
    Keymaster

    #12415
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    That is pretty striking. Thoughts from the rest?

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12416
    fairoaks024
    Participant

    Very nice, I like the usurper cover very much, really looks like it’s a Conan-warrior-becomes-king sort of game.

     

    regards

     

    jim

    #12419
    Guy Farrish
    Participant

    Yes, its good.

    Still has the red lettering problem for me – and I know its my medical problem as well, but red on white makes it harder to read for me – it ‘dances’ a bit.

    Its also very, bright, modern. Doesn’t feel quite fantasy like for me but that’s probably just my preconceptions showing – and I have to add a big caveat – I don’t play fantasy games – so what do I know? (also – is the picture public domain for profit? I presume you’re charging for the rules Ivan? Or are they free?)

    Back to my dragon obsession (with a sort of distressed parchment feel)

    Usurper 3

    Or non-dragony

    Usurper 2

    #12422
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    A darker background might work better, to make it a bit more striking.

    I do like the “parchment” look you have on the dragon one.

    A dragon is nice and iconic but it might not fit as well with the changed title. Maybe a castle or a crown?

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12427
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    As far as the game, the demo is pay what you want, which just has the resolution system and character creation, not all the cool bits. The final thing will be a commercial thing.

    I’ll throw some comp copies at you guys (if any of you want a look at the game as it stands now, 75% finished, email me at [email protected] )

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12430
    Paul
    Participant

    What about “Usurper: Your’s By Right”?

    Those are brave men knocking at our door. Let's go kill them!

    #12432
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    What about “Usurper: Your’s By Right”?

     

    That’s very good too.

    “Destiny reclaimed”?

     

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12450
    Guy Farrish
    Participant

    I like the ‘Destiny Reclaimed’ tag, it has that suggestion of putting history back on the rails, of overturning great forces working against the natural order of things (or that could just be whatever my wife keeps putting in my coffee). I still like it though.

    #12451
    kyoteblue
    Participant

    Usurper…..You killed my Father prepare to DIE !!!

    #12452
    Ivan Sorensen
    Participant

    Usurper…..You killed my Father prepare to DIE !!!

    Instant story 🙂

     

    Here’s what a “Young man looking for revenge and justice” might look like in [The game formerly known as Metal Rogue]

     

    Traits:

    Fencing

    Disguise

    Suave

    Horse riding

    Acrobatics

    Honour

    Convictions:

    “I shall reclaim my throne”

    “Honour before practicality”

    “I shall defend the downtrodden”

    Nordic Weasel Games
    https://www.wargamevault.com/browse/pub/5701/Nordic-Weasel-Games?src=browse5701

    #12457
    kyoteblue
    Participant

    And he will be dead by chapter 2….

    #12461
    Guy Farrish
    Participant

    I always thought Mercutio from Romeo and Juliet would make a great late medieval/fantasy RPG character – but he dies in the third Act

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 51 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.