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  • #136047
    Thomaston
    Participant

    Oh Dark Groggy Hour
    Somewhere CLASSIFIED

    Tuna tins rattled on a line of dental floss in the quiet night. Four people shot up in full alert grabbing their weapons and scuttled around the dump of a safehouse. 1LOVE rushed to the tuna tins, his carbine in one hand, a toothbrush in the other and steadied the dental floss with his feet. Expertly balanced on one foot as he reset the alarm system. 3SOME unrolled a crayon-drawn home defense plan for teh defense of their safehome. 4PLAY scattered Legos and Christmas decorations in front of the front and kitchen door while 2SEXY removed the safety form the pans, rigged to drop over the windows. The four STD agents took position, cold killer eyes staring out into the night looking for victims and yawning in unison.

     

    1LOVE in teh Bathroom guarding his dental hygine gear.
    2SEXY in the bedroom with one bed with her hermit crabs.
    3SOME in the crowded bedroom and 4PLAY guarding his beloved fridge.
    I was too lazy to paint the thing. It’s been sitting unpainted for months and will never get painted.

    Flashbangs flew in throw the windows. One of them prmptly batted away by the spring loaded cast iron pan but the other two rolled on the floor before flashing it’s bang. A lone assaulter stepped through the front door, his combat boots unaffected by the legos and Christmas decorations. Swinging his weapon at the first person he saw and sent a hail of bullets towards 2SEXY, sendingher scuttling back behind the Kevlar reinforced chipboard wall.

    1Love had a clear shot to the intruder, took aim and fired but his crisp movement registered as high threat and he got a face full of lead in return. The man went down where he loved most, the bathroom. With their most expertist member and leader down 3SOME panicked and sprayed blindly towards the intruder. He was still seeing stars and his bullets did nothing except put more holes in their safe house. 4PLAY hearing a lot of gunshots in the tiny shack figured it’ll be safer is he stayed where he was and make himself as small as possible.

    3SOME recovered enough form the flashy BANG and sprayed his SMG anew at the figure in the livingroom and hit him square in the chest. The figure stumbled back, stunned but his trauma plate caught the bullet. More flashbangs flew in, followed by another bad guy. 2SEXY tpeeked her head out to see if all was clear and the new intruder opened up on her but this time she had her weapon ready, ducked low and tugged the trigger sending her attacker backing into the first one. With the two intruders stunned she sent her “babies” after them. The hermit crabs couldn’t do much but kept them preoccupied. 3SOME took advantage of the opportunity and finished off one of them.

    While all this was happening 4PLAY was picking his nails, still covering the kitchen door. It was this moment that more bad men with guns came through both doors. They were looking for a fight but were still no match for 4PLAY and his passion for tuna sandwich, taking 5 bullets that eventually punched through the trauma plate and scored the team’s second kill. The two bad guys in the livingroom joined force and attacked 2SEXY once more. Something about 3SOME’s red shirt that they completely ignored. Their combined firepower would have wasted 2SEXY, if it wasn’t for those pesky hermit crabs spoiling thier aim. 2SEXY was sent into cover once more.

    The hermit crabs took revenge for their mother, attacking her attackers in a man’s most vulnerable spot and created an opening for 4PLAY to come around the corner. Unfortunately the natural human reaction when in paint is to tense up and the guns went off exactly as 4PLAY came around the corner. Taking a hand full of bullets, 4PLAY crumpled next to 1LOVE.

    3SOME had had enough and opened up on the two remaining bad guys, and did nothing because they were writhing around too much. 2SEXY worried 3SOME’s lousy shooting might hit her babies popped out to take a look only to jump back as another accidental shot went by her head. The two bad guys kicked around, driving the hermit crabs away and saw 3SOME for the first time. They took aim but the lingering groin pain sent their shots wide but made 3SOME dive under a bed for cover. 2SEXY saved him for more bullets but once again only hit the trauma plate. His buddy reacted right away, peeking into 2SEXY’s room, hunting for a target. 2SEXY backed up taking more cover. The hermit crabs seeing their mother in danger crawled to her rescued but the bad guy danced a jig and easily side stepped their attacks.

    The badguys signaled each other before storming the room, taking 2SEXY down in a storm of hot lead. 3SOME deciding to make a run for it, emptied his magazine in a blind burst as he dasked for the kitchen door. Somehow all his shots connected, earning him another kill. Shock! Horror! Their mother down the hermit crabs went into revenge mode and snapped the last intruder in the you-know-what. His face turned purple. And so ends the Battle of Two Bedroom Slum Hut.

    3SOME made clicking noises like he saw 2SEXY do when she talked to her hermit crabs. The crabs somehow understood and stabilized the three downed members using hermit crab advanced first aid fu. They even managed to getthe bullets out of their human slaves with their little crabby claws. 3SOME gathered up his gentalman’s reading material but stopped by one of the intruder and pulled down his pants.

    “I knew it, commandos!!”

    As the rest of the assault force wondered why everything went quiet, the three hermit crabs dragging a casualty each followed 3SOME as he sneaked off into the night in search of a new hiding place.

    Tired is enough.
    R-rated narcissism

    #136053
    Darkest Star Games
    Participant

    Hilarious dude!  Love it!

    Man, our heroes aren’t doing so well…

    "I saw this in a cartoon once, but I'm pretty sure I can do it..."

    #136119
    madman
    Participant

    So who on earth, or from off island are these people? So well outfitted and coordinated.

    #136120
    Just Jack
    Participant

    Nothing like pulling pants down to see if they’re commando(s), you are absolutely insane!!!

    I gotta believe you’ve enabled the hermit crabs to have surgical skills because the fight went a lot worse than expected?

    I can’t wait to see where you go from here.

    V/R,

    Jack

    #136353
    Thomaston
    Participant

    If these guys were in Star Trek they’ll be wearing red shirts. Ironicly, the only guy wearing a red shirt was the one to survive. They did so bad I didn’t bother with the injury rolls and gave the hermit crabs Deus Ex Crustacea powers, waving their claws and healed their wounds. At the end I figured if I could get 3SOME out their next mission would be him rescuing the theor thre. Luckily the hermit crabs rolled uncharacteristicly well.

    In the end the team managed to scrape out a victory, although costly they’ve now gained the initiative and will be on the offensive.

    Tired is enough.
    R-rated narcissism

    #136358
    Just Jack
    Participant

    You always manage to amaze me; the power of creation, for a crustacean!

    Hurry up, I’m dying to see what these guys with the initiative looks like 😉

    And I’m working up my order, gonna go full hog, Vietnam (USN and USAF), and Gulf War.  Why not, right?

    V/R,

    Jack

     

    #136515
    Thomaston
    Participant

    March, 2009

    After a month of laying low the team had recovered enough to start looking for action again. 4PLAY just about had enough of 2SEXY watching the same episode of MacGuyver over and over. He was building a bomb to end it all.

    Luckily 3SOME knew a guy from prison who knows a guy, who married a guy, who was neighbor to a guy, who could help them. He came back holding a thick manila folder. Spreading the content across the floor, the team went through the new intel. The Department of Animal Control has a common enemy with a Mr Keyser Soze, who used to profit from smuggling raw manure for the Organic Agriculture Promotion Agency. It seems the OAPA got greedy and cut out the middle man, smuggling the manure themselves. Mr Soze was not happy.

    2SEXY took command of the operation, her Masters in Marine Biology made the the most qualified for maritime operations.

    Their target the manure smuggling ship ‘Smelly Cat’.

    There are three objectives, the bridge, the engine room, accessed through a hatch at the stern and confirm the cargo, the hatch forward of the ship. Team ODD will confirm the cargo before doubling back along the port side of the ship so the whole team could assault the stern together.

    The team doggy paddled their stealth insertion craft out into the ocean and laid in wait in the path of their target. The hermit crabs sat this one out, boats bring back traumatic memories.

    A sentry stood sentry on the stern deck while another patrols the length of the ship. The team waited for the sentry to walk away before climbing aboard.

    All went well until 4PLAY climbed aboard. The sentry decided to take a shortcut and popped right in front of 2SEXY. 2SEXY was the first two recover from the surprise and pulled her trigger. The sentry dove for cover out of reflex, bullets riddled his body as he olympic dived overboard (rolled a snakeye). 1LOVE was still looking around to see what was going on when 3SOME rushed passed him to check their assigned objective, checking the forward hatch. A good lungfull later, YUP! Manure!

    https://www.thewargameswebsite.com/wp-content/uploads/hm_bbpui/136515/w9q1n2o6qi8u9g5wdegntlbdccu2j08b.jpg

    Alerted more bad guys came up from the engine room. The team took advantage of the confusion while the bad guys searched around moving up and taking cover. More bad guys kept coming out on deck, including some well equiped guys.

    A sentries came down the starboard side steps, spotted 2SEXY, called his friends, and took aim but got shot before he could pose a threat. His friends on the bridge shot back but didn’t hit anything, the one on the port side was particuarly unlucking popping up to 1LOVE’s waiting aim and and took a series of bulets to the head (three 6s). The other bad guys rushed up starboard side, leaving portside unguarded. 3SOME rushed down hoping to get under the bridge while 1LOVE was covering him but slipped and landed next to 1LOVE. 4PLAY took a shot at the remaining enemy on the bridge but his target had high ground and was already looking for something to shoot at. 4PLAY went down in a pool of blood (I don’t think he survived a mission yet).

    Badguys came up starboard side but couldn’t see 2SEXY. The guy on the bridge saw her though and took a shot but couldn’t hit her in her hiding place. 2SEXY stayed put while 1LOVE circled around with 3SOME close behind him, flanking the defenders. He took a shot at the trailing guy, scoring another kill.

    A whole lot of nothing happened as the badguys and 2SEXY traded shots and hit nothing, so 2SEXY decided to buid a barracade out of chewinggum and scrap paper.

    1LOVE flanked 2SEXY’s attacker and shot him, but the Tango only staggered, he must be wearing a ballistic plate. 3SOME continued towards the stern, leaving his teammates to do the fighting. 1LOVE fired again but his target did a matrix dodge and managed to avoid all the bullets. The one of the bridge kept looking back and forth couldn’t decide to shoot at 1LOVE or 2SEXY, finally took another shot at 2SEXY. His bullets bounced around 2SEXY’s newly completed barracade but she panicked, letting off a burst, hitting the shooter in the helmet making him duck for cover. She then pointed her still firing weapon towards the bad guy in front of her. Bullets slammed into ballistic plates, the guy stagered back and fell overboard. 3SOME ran up to the bridge took aim at the remaining enemy and missed, both taking cover.

    1LOVE hurried up to the bridge saw the well equipped guy hunkering at the top of the stairs. He took a shot. Unfortunately his magazine was empty and dove for cover as bullets came his way. 3SOME took more shots, supressing the guy again but some of his bullets ricochet back towards 2SEXY making her duck back behind her barricade.

    1LOVE renewed his attack, the gunfight sent both men into cover. 3SOME took advantage of their enemy changing magazine to empty his own into the badguy, riddled him with bullets and finally killing the dude.

    https://www.thewargameswebsite.com/wp-content/uploads/hm_bbpui/136515/2p1973z9aqfforax7k3occl8al5viznt.jpg

    They captured the boat and not to let anyting go to waste took it as their new home.

    Not that anyone is keeping scores but, this mission.

    1LOVE, 2 kills

    2SEXY, 3 kills

    3SOME, 1 kill

    4PLAY, casualty as usual.

    That MacGuyver marathod really paid off.

    Tired is enough.
    R-rated narcissism

    #136516
    madman
    Participant

    I swear a lot of the times you are gaming in 28mm and claiming it is 6mm. Those stairs on the boat make me think……

    In any case this is such great fun, keep up the good work.

    #136522
    Thomaston
    Participant

    The ship is 6mm. It’s a Cruel Seas British Tanker. 😀

    Tired is enough.
    R-rated narcissism

    #136526
    kyoteblue
    Participant

    Love the tanker!!!

    #136539
    madman
    Participant

    The ship is 6mm. It’s a Cruel Seas British Tanker. 😀

    Great. Still more really neat things to buy.

    #136566
    telzy amber
    Participant

    Great story.

    You did a fantastic job on the tanker. Truly magnificent

    #136572
    Just Jack
    Participant

    You are absolutely insane!  What a great fight, keep’em coming, please.  A few observations:

    -I can’t believe you left the hermit crabs off the raid!  And I also can’t believe you used Peeps to assault the freighter.

    -The SS Smelly Cat, eh?  A big fan of Phoebe Bouffe?

    -That is an a amazing looking freighter model, and I can’t believe you got a shipboard raid in before me! 😉

    V/R,
    Jack

    #136607
    Darkest Star Games
    Participant

    Wow a mission that went right, except for 4zy.  And just what will they do with all of that manure, use it to make the bomb bigger?

    I love that bad 80’s TV had a helping hand, hilarious!

    "I saw this in a cartoon once, but I'm pretty sure I can do it..."

    #136904
    Thomaston
    Participant

    Rereading the rules again, I screwed up. The mission might have gone even better if I had leveled 3SOME up after mission 2.
    The commandos were higher level than he was and he killed a few and would have earned a level.
    This ship assault 2SEXY also leveled up the same way. The two troops in gray armor were the same level as commandos and she killed one of them.

    We now have 3 characters at a hgher level so the next mission will have to be tougher.

    Hermit crabs are to be used sparingly, they’re waaaaay too powerful.
    I actually like Joey more than Phoebe but ‘SS How Ya Doin’ is a little long.

    Tired is enough.
    R-rated narcissism

    #136914
    Gone Fishing
    Participant

    While I like it all, my favourite bit is the rubber ducky assault craft. Did you make those yourself? Superb!

    #136929
    Thomaston
    Participant

    Yup, sculpted those rubber ducks, they came out really nice.

    Tired is enough.
    R-rated narcissism

    #137289
    Thomaston
    Participant

    April, 2009

    The Organic Agricultural Promotion Agency (OAPA) took a major publicity hit when it was caught smuggling unregistered raw manure onto the island. Noone really knows who was responsible for the capture of the smuggling ship but the Department of Animal Control was one of many departments to jumpp at OAPA throat. Charging them with importing products from unregistered animals. For now DAC is soaring high in approval ratings, well the highest of the bottom three departments.

    With a major victory under their belt the team looked to getting back on who ever hit their safe house. They figured the commandos were from the Army because the Air Force only had 3 people and there were 4 commandos. The Navy only wear speedos so it coudln’t be them either.

    The plan is to kidnap an Army officer (hanging out on the roof of the middile building) and forcibly interview him about who hired them. Hitting an arny barracks is a big job so 1LOVE hooked the team up with some support, Troop 419.

    1LOVE lead TEAM ODD to link up with Troop 419 SW of the base, while TEAM EVEN took position on a hill to the NE to try sneak in if things went south. A fourth team of hermitcrabs acts as reserves to the W, ready to disable the armored car in case things went really far south.

    The slum to the SE is a hive of scum and villany so we’ll avoid that place.

    The operation began badly as TEAM ODD was spotted by the sentry right away. Serves them right for sneaking straight in front of the commando. The single sentry opened fired and pinned the two men. Gunshot heard TEAM EVEN went on the move. With no sentries in sight they managed to sneak up to the Northern most building. The guard by the APC turned around and shot wildly, hitting 1LOVE and made a casualty out of the fearless leader. More commandos converge on the sound of gunfire before TROOP 419 could even get into position. TROOP 419 took up positoin at a house for cover before shooting at the APC guard but only managed to pin the commando.

    Commandos used their supperior training to supress and maneuvered towards the two teams to the South, gunning down a girl scout in the process. The guard by the APC hopped in and started the engine getting ready for some heavy firepower. 3SOME kept his cool, dragging 1LOVE into cover while TROOP 419 tried to return fire but lost another girl. The only success story during the turn was TEAM EVEN deciding to sneak around the North and found a gun position, rolled a critical success and manned the gun.

    TEAM EVEN turned the gun towards the APC and pushed the big red button. The gun thundered but only bursting the vehicle’s tires. With all her friends down the lone girl scout realized the whole thing wasn’t worth the badge she was promissed and quietly backed off. The commandos took some times to gather and decide wether to go North or South while the lone sentry at the gate kept 3SOME busy. The hermitcrabs figured this was the biggest FUBAR they had ever seen in thier lives moved up to take on the APC, managing to disable the vehicle but lost one of their own, crushed by the armored car.

    The commandos decided to go South and finish off their oppositions there, but 3SOME was in a good defensive position and held his own. A lone commando I forgotten about, sneaked up on the gun position, took aim and easily took 4PLAY down. 2SEXY turned the big gun on the dude but only managed to make him hunker into cover. 3SOME decided the whole thing was a lost cause and dragged 1LOVE back, slipping away while big guns sound in the North. Their job of disabling the APC done, the hermitcrabs also retreated, swinging by where TROOP 419 was and managed to drag away one of the casualty.

    Abbandonned even by her own hermitcrabs 2SEXY stood no chance. Planning to destroy the gun as a distraction and slip away she only managed to destroy the gun before getting pinned down and shot.

    4 Animal Control agents, 3 girl scouts and 3 hermit crabs couldn’t stand up to five Army commandos. They lose a hermitcrab, a girl scout (the other girl recovered) and 2 agents captured. They did destroy an APC and a gunposition. No army commandos were harmed in this operation (except the guy in the APC who took moderate burns).

    This was a disaster. I even dropped and lost a rubber duck stealth insertion craft after the game.

    Tired is enough.
    R-rated narcissism

    #137294
    telzy amber
    Participant

    No NO say it’s not true! You lost a Duckie insertion craft?

    #137298
    Thomaston
    Participant

    No worries, I found the missing duck.

    Tired is enough.
    R-rated narcissism

    #137309
    madman
    Participant

    Man, this keeps getting “better” and “better”. Cool idea for casualty markers for the gurl skouts. Didn’t see that before if you used them previously.

    #137337
    Just Jack
    Participant

    Dammit, you psychopath, you can’t kill Girl Scouts! 😉

    But ouch, that did not go well at all.  Even the hermit crabs let ya down…

    V/R,
    Jack

    #137932
    Thomaston
    Participant

    @Jack
    I’ve always thought Boy/Girl Scouts were paramilitary forces. The cookies sale is part of their intel gathering training. Don’t even get me started on all the crawing around in the bushes every year, reminds me of the Agoge.

    @Steven
    I’ve only been using the tombstone markers recently. I didn’t want to have to make separate markers for modern, sci-fi and fantasy.

    Tired is enough.
    R-rated narcissism

    #138128
    greg954
    Participant

    Sorry for the late reply as I haven’t been around much and playing catch up. Just when I thought the safe house couldn’t be funnier. I then read the “Smelly Cat” and the duck stealth insertion craft had me rolling around with laughter.

    4play really doesn’t have much luck. In fact that last AAR none of the goodies had any luck. Including the crabs!

    #142715
    Thomaston
    Participant

    @greg
    Thanks, glad you like my juvenile sense of humor. 4PLAY isn’t really STD material.

    Their luck had been terrible, the two remaining STD agents, 1LOVE and 3SOME were at risk of loosing their job. While 1Love was sleeping 3SOME, made a decisoin and made a call to his old prison pal. He traded in the Smelly Cat for a smaller boat, using the left over funds to buy some helicopters and hire some help. His prison contact also gave him a clue on where to find 2SEXY and 4PLAY.

    Shaky statelite image of the operation

    The ‘Scotty Doesn’t Know’ their new boat sailed towards the island of Isla Chico Ilha Island. Under the cover of darkness, 1LOVE and 3SOME made a seaborn insertion at the southern tip of the small island. Their goal was to locate their captured team members, rescure them and eliminate the 3 Army officers on the island. 3SOME called it, Operation Seven Condoms.

    STD Order of Battle

    1x Mini Expeditionary Sea Base, SS Scotty Doesn’t Know

    4x Stealth Insertion Craft

    1x Ka-25PS, with a door gunner.

    1x MD-500, armed with 2x 7 tube 70mm Hydra.

    1x 1LOVE, ex-Special Forces Hygenist.

    1x 3COME, ex-con

    16x failed dentists, convicts, zoologist and divorcees.

    I’m using modified Sellswords & Spellslingers.

    As soon as 1LOVE set foot on the sandy beach a patrol of two army soldiers came into view, setting a trend for the entire operation.

    1LOVE managed to at least moved towards a flanking position before the patrol noticed them. 3SOME, was calmer and took it slow and steady, mumbling to himself, “slow is smooth, smooth is fast”. Closing towards the patrol and took a shot at them, taking one soldier down.

    1LOVE’s turn once again and true to form he rolled snakeeyes, giving the remaining soldier from the first patrol an action and drawing in another pair of soldiers. They probably heard the gunfire and came in to see if their friends were goofing off again. The single soldier shot at 3SOME (only one in range), and luckily missed.

    3SOME, staying calm, pulled out his walkie talkie and called for the Rapid Reaction Force (RRF). The Ka-25 whirled into life and lifted off with a team of 3 zoologist and a divorcee.

    1LOVE moved up the incline to take a shot at the second patrol and dropped one soldier. The Scotty Doesn’t Know was near by so the helicopter arrived over head very quickly

    1LOVE distracted by their own whirly bird got shot and slumped onto the ground, a great startt o Operation Seven Condoms indeed. The helicopter’s door gunner opened up on the last soldier until he was down. By the time 3SOME got up the hill, the party was all over, so he told the helo to land and evac 1LOVE back to the MESB.

    Looks like Operation Seven Condoms will be a one man job for a while. 3SOME had been the most consistent MVP so far, I really like 3SOME. How often you you get to say that?

    Tired is enough.
    R-rated narcissism

    #142719
    madman
    Participant

    Fun(?) like always. Sort of reminds me if Johnny English actually met a Bond villain. Where did you get the Kamov from?

    #142722
    Thomaston
    Participant

    The helicopters are 3D printed, they’re probably not to scale I had to change a few things like MD500 tailboom to get it printed.

    Tired is enough.
    R-rated narcissism

    #142825
    Darkest Star Games
    Participant

    1Love just has zero luck.   Makes me worry if he’s even any good as a hygienist (and is that oral or physical?).  The only one I’ve ever known had an aversion to taking showers…

    "I saw this in a cartoon once, but I'm pretty sure I can do it..."

    #142848
    Just Jack
    Participant

    Your typical levels of insanity! I’m with Darby, these guys (and that one in particular) have zero luck.

    V/R,

    Jack

    #142923
    Thomaston
    Participant

    @DSG
    I think that’s why they made him a dygienist, he’s definitely no good at shooting. My initial idea was a general hygienist, but it hardly matter anyway, would you trust that guy in anyone’s mouth?

    Tired is enough.
    R-rated narcissism

    #142948
    Darkest Star Games
    Participant

    Phrasing!  Badam-chik!

     

    "I saw this in a cartoon once, but I'm pretty sure I can do it..."

    #142985
    Guy Farrish
    Participant

    Missed this until now.

    Absolutely brilliant and deliriously mad!

    Glad I found it, even if I am very late to the party.

    It has inspired me to go back to one of my earlier Imagination creations with a different twist. No hermit cabs and probably no girl scouts but who knows what may be in the Facility in the jungle? We’ll have to go and find out!

    (maybe; if I continue to get my finger out, and I put it somewhere that doesn’t  compare it directly to your efforts.)

    Keep the inspiration coming please!

    #142998
    John D Salt
    Participant

    The rules cocktail sounds interesting

    I’m a great fan of cocktails. Google “It’s Hartnell, Damn It” for the recipe of a cocktail created for me by the estimable Simon Difford, whose guide to cocktails is indispensible. Who elese remembered that today was the anniversary of the launch of Mariner 2?

    The rules cocktail gives me an idea for what I think is a new kind of wargame, using elements of the Wargame Developments “muggergame”, where all the players try to bully the gamesmaster into doing what they want. It would need a collection of old, experienced, argumentative wargamers — easy enough to come by, one would think — and a collection of different sets of rules, all covering the same subject. Play would proceed along the lines of one of Chris Engele’s matrix games, with players presenting and arguing about what should happen next, with the additional restriction that all the arguments have to be based on some rule from one of the sets in the collection.

    If nothing else, this would at least remove the criticism of wargaming that it is unlike real life because in real life everybody doesn’t know what the rules are.

    All the best,

    John.

    #143023
    Thomaston
    Participant

    @Guy
    Compare away, I’m always looking for things I could steal ideas from.


    @John

    I don’t think that game would get passed the first turn 😀
    I play solo and I forget rules combination almost every game.

    Tired is enough.
    R-rated narcissism

    #143031
    Guy Farrish
    Participant

    Thomaston, I just meant I don’t need to feel as inadequate as the comparison would make me feel.

     

    John, The problem I have with the Matrix game as formally constituted, is that it seems inordinately to favour the glib and charismatic. Being neither I find it a discouraging format. I have this nagging feeling that, as you suggested in another thread, being glib and charismatic walking up to a DShK 1938 armed with a Browing Hi-Power in real life is going to put a crimp in your day, whereas you may persuade an umpire that your interpretive dance training gives you sufficient agility to conclude the manoeuvre with grace, style and success. On the other hand I may have just persuaded myself of the genre’s value after all!

    #143038
    Thomaston
    Participant

    “being glib and charismatic walking up to a DShK 1938 armed with a Browing Hi-Power in real life”
    For some reason I’d like to try that some day when I’m gray and old.

    Tired is enough.
    R-rated narcissism

    #143039
    Guy Farrish
    Participant

    “being glib and charismatic walking up to a DShK 1938 armed with a Browing Hi-Power in real life” For some reason I’d like to try that some day when I’m gray and old.

    I am already old and gray (grey?) and believe me the stretching involved to maintain that level of insouciance is something cruel.

    #143050
    Thomaston
    Participant

    @Guy

    “old and gray (grey?)”
    Potato, potato.

     

    Operation Seven Condoms, as silly as it sounds.

    First off, a better image of the island.

    That little dot on the East side of teh cove is 3SOME. Not only did 1LOVE got himself shot right off the rubber ducky, his navigation also put them on the wrong side of the cove. They were supposed to start off scouting that lone building in the South. There’s only one way out of the area, uphill and Westward.

    Back to the actual operation.

    Feeling all lonesome, 3SOME got the QRF to land and keep him company as the helicopter took off taking 1LOVE back to the MESB. Continuing with the trend, the helicopter rolled a 1 bringing another patrol over the crest. The QRF now renamed TEAM 3SOME, tried to get the jump on the soldiers, and rolled a 1, and another squad came over the crest.

    Yes, everytime these guys roll a 1 the enemy gets a reinforcement. You could make it a drinking game if you like.

    3SOME the most prudent operative within STD, legged it towards the beach and called for some air support. He managed to keep his MVP status by not rolling a 1.

    The Littlebird arrived over head but didn’t have enough actions to start shooting, oh and it also rolled a 1. Another squad appeared along the East Coast. TEAM 3SOME tried to be sneaky rolling only 1 activation dice, and rolled a 1, another Army squard came over the crest. The Kamov needing to get back to the ship also rolled a 1, but I ran out of soldiers at this point so no more reinforcements for the bad(?) guys. 3SOME got a whopping 3 successes, but he was’t crazy enough to take on the whole army by himself, running and swimming all the way to the bottom. He actually outran the Kamov.

    Somewhere along the line the army got an activation and moved to close the net.

    The Kamov finally got back to the ship, with a successful activation roll. The Littlebird rolled 2 activations and got 2 successes. Oh boy, how happy I was. It only had 2 salvos of rockets and missed the first salvo. Luckily the second hit. I gave myself a break deciding to roll a D6 what ever came up would the the number of casualties the rocket salvo scored. I rolled a 1.

    A whole bunch of shooting happened. The team of soldiers that just been rocketed got an activation and took a shot at the helicopter but couldn’t hit the little bird. TEAM 3SOME figured something close to 20:4 wasn’t good odds for a bunch of Zoologist and a divorcee and decided to retreat. Rolling 2 dice, and failed 1 the army squad opened up on them and hit a Zoologist in the face. Instead of running they returned fire but didn’t hit anything, yeah they rolled a 1.

    The Littlebird, out of rockets turned back to the MESB, but failed one dice, you guessed it, a 1. I decided I might as well add whatever I had and a wheeled APC turned up to the party. TEAM 3SOME joined 3SOME actual clinging to the rocks.

    I was laughing so hard at this point I couldn’t think straight, and decided to call it a day to rethink the rules.

    Out of options I was going to make the team swim back to MESB but the Kamov had just finished unloading 1LOVE so I decided to take it out to rescue the team. I still have the 4 Stealth Insertion Craft and could drop them for the team to doggy paddle back or use the winch. The helicopter got over head easily (rolling a 6 and 1, a 6 count as 2 activations or cancel one failure, I took the cancelation), but did’t have the activation to drop the rubber ducks. It didn’t matter though, TEAM 3SOME and 3SOME actual had to roll at least one activation and they managed to pass without another ‘1’. They made a human pyramid and pulled eachother onto the helicopter.

    This is the biggest FUBAR I’ve ever seen. They lost a Zoologist. I really need to change the rules some and get my dice checked.

    Tired is enough.
    R-rated narcissism

    #143053
    Darkest Star Games
    Participant

    Yup, then dice are loaded!  Only explanation as even gradeschoolers couldn’t be as daft Operators as this has gone…

    But i still love it, keep playing!!

    "I saw this in a cartoon once, but I'm pretty sure I can do it..."

    #143054
    Guy Farrish
    Participant

    Having shared a house at college with a bunch of zoologists, I can confidently say:

    a) I am surprised you only lost one, and

    b) how much have you really lost?

    Are you sure 1Love is what he says he is?

    And: get some new dice!

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