Wargaming aphorisms

[Deleted User]

I would like to start a series of posts from members of our community * on wargaming aphorisms.

I am sure our collected wisdom will provide invaluable & sage-like advice to future generations.

If I may start?

 

Tartan is wonderful. Until you have to paint it.

 

donald

 

 

 

• that may well end here if the topic doesn’t capture anyone’s interest

[Norm S]

If you deliberate long and hard before committing to a basing system, you will likely forever have doubts that you made the right choice.

[Chris Pringle]

No scenario survives contact with the playtesters.

Chris

Bloody Big BATTLES!

https://uk.groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/BBB_wargames/info

http://bloodybigbattles.blogspot.com/

[Rhoderic]

The absence of fantasy is a fantasy.

[Mike Headden]

<p>Daub Errata (v2)</p>

Paint placidly amid the noise and haste, and make the most of whatever passes for silence.

As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with spouses, parents, pets and children.

Pass on tips quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their insights.

Avoid power gamers, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser painters than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own armies, however humble; they are a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution on EBay; for it is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strike surprising deals; and everywhere there are bargains.

Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!

Especially, do not feign an interest. Neither be cynical about production schedules; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment sooner or later someone will make a model of it in a scale you want.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth; eyesight, steady hands ….

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many botched paint jobs are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of this forum, no less than Ochoin, Norm, Chris or Rhoderic ; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt your favourite figure ranges are unfolding as they should. Therefore be at peace with your hobby, whatever you conceive it to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep pace with your purchases.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to paint something.

<Sorry Max>

There are 100 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who can work from incomplete data

[Etranger]

“No plan survives contact with the players.”

[Thaddeus Blanchette]

How is it that this one hasn’t been put down here yet? “If you ever manage to paint all the figures you have purchased, you will die.”

We get slapped around, but we have a good time!

[grizzlymc]

Thaddeus, it is true. I have achieved immortality.

[Geof Downton]

Thaddeus Blanchette wrote:

How is it that this one hasn’t been put down here yet? “If you ever manage to paint all the figures you have purchased, you will die.”

Because it remains hypothetical, as nobody has ever painted all the figures they have purchased.

One who puts on his armour should not boast like one who takes it off.
Ahab, King of Israel; 1 Kings 20:11

[grizzlymc]

And those who have, have never gone online to boast about it.

[Geof Downton]

grizzlymc wrote:

And those who have, have never gone online to boast about it.

 

…or Thaddeus is correct, and they have instantly expired…

One who puts on his armour should not boast like one who takes it off.
Ahab, King of Israel; 1 Kings 20:11

[Thomaston]

The more time you put into prepping a mini for paint the better it looks.

The smaller the miniatures, the lighter the color.

Use lighter colors than you think, you can darken them later by glazing.

Paint thin and many layers, never paint thick.

Don’t use gloss varnish for figures, vehicles are ok.

Triple check that can of spray varnish before you use it.

Take a warm shower before painting or sculpting, it should be a ritual.

Eat pretzel as offering to the dice god before you roll.

Tired is enough.

[McKinstry]

Never, ever, say “anything but a X” when rolling dice. The deities governing gaming will inevitably deliver said X.

All newly painted elite units will run at the first opportunity whereas that battered poorly painted militia will stand like Spartans at Thermopylae.

Blessed be the player that says “Well historically, elves …..” for they have provided amusement that will last for years.

Know in your heart that the detail you are painting up close using a magnifying head lamp will not be visible from table height but do it anyway because you know it is there.

 

 

 

The tree of Life is self pruning.

[kyoteblue]

I don’t remember buying those…

[Geof Downton]

kyoteblue wrote:

I don’t remember buying those…

…twice.

One who puts on his armour should not boast like one who takes it off.
Ahab, King of Israel; 1 Kings 20:11

[Hafen von Schlockenberg]

The popularity of a given ruleset will nosedive immediately upon your completion of armies for it.

[Temporary like Achilles]

Wherever wargamers are gathered, at least two of them will quite like Iron Maiden.

[cmnash]

It doesn’t matter how you base your figures, you will re-base them before using them …

After you have spent hours searching for X, you will remember that you sold/binned X last week, after having had X for years and never used it …

 

.

[Altius]

Your most beautifully painted unit will be defeated spectacularly in their first battle. The heroes of the game will be the unit that your opponent painted with a spray can while drunk.

Where there is fire, we will carry gasoline

[Author]

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