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The Spartans and Athenians, as is there wont, have been bickering on and off for months. The harvesting complete the Athenians have resolved to go on the march and vandalise the magnificent Spartan shrine to Leonidas. The Spartans get wind of this and dispatch an army, to not only stop this desecration, but to purport one of their own on the nearby Athenian shrine.
The opposing forces prepare for battle.
Arichilles, having finished combing his mullet raises his shield and entertains the lads with a battle song…
The rest of the Spartan line listens, quietly…
To the north the noisy rabble of Athenians shake out for battle. Bottom left can be seen their pokey little excuse for a shrine sat in an overgrown brier patch*…
* A life size inflatable Hoplite doll to the first punter to guess which side I’m on.
"Wot did you do in the war Grandad?"
"I was with Harry... At The Bridge!"
Battle* is joined as the Spartan skirmishers shower the Athenians on the hill with javelins. This provokes catcalls and jeers from the armoured men on the hill. A proverb of the ancients goes… ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but calling names won’t hurt me’, and they didn’t. The arrow storm unleashed by the Athenian archers skulking on the hill’s reverse slope, were however fish of a different kettle, devastating the Spartan skirmish screen.
To add insult to injury Athenian Cavalrymen charged the flank of the Spartan’s slingers, but not before getting a hammering on the way in. Battle was then joined all along the line with Hoplites hitting head on.
Not the Athenian cavalry’s brightest idea to try and draw conclusion with the elite of the Spartan Hoplites…
*White dice:- Brace yerself lads! Red dice:- Close up, close up! Black dice:- Sod this for a game of soldiers, leg it!!!
"Wot did you do in the war Grandad?"
"I was with Harry... At The Bridge!"
Predictably the elite of the Spartan Hoplites make short work of the enemy Cavalry, rout the archers stood behind them, and then smash into the flank of the nearest Athenian Hoplites…
Fighting flares all along the line, King Nikchilles and his Queen bolster the hard pressed Spartan, fighting in the front ranks.
On the Spartan left flank the skirmishers melt away from the arrow storm as their puny Javelins carry on amusing the Athenian Hoplites. The Spartans charge but the uphill advantage of the enemy proves too much and a Spartan unit breaks and falls back!
Back on the right flank an obviously inept Athenian General is dragged from his mount and butchered, his men break and a general rout ensues…
Meanwhile, back on the right flank, disaster hits the valiant Spartans assault on the hill. Hit in front and flanks their Hoplite unit is destroyed. Seeing the the elite of the Spartan Hoplites hurrying to seal the breach Arichlles forms the reinforcements and advances again…
The Spartan Kind and Queen join valiant Arichilles…
What’s this! by the Cringe, Whats this!!!???
The Gods thunder from Olympus and the sun goes out, the Athenians take heart at the sign sent from their Gods. When the sun re-appears the Spartan centre is broken!!!
A thunderbolt of lightening hits the hill followed by a deafening thumble of runder. The Spartan King and Queen are struck down…
This terrible display of power, from the Athenian’s God’s, turns the splendid Spartan Army into a howling rabble who flee for their lives. The exhausted Athenians watch them go, then prepare to thank their God’s, for the deliverance…
"Wot did you do in the war Grandad?"
"I was with Harry... At The Bridge!"
Interesting, are the lighting effects just that, or does the game have the gods intervening and that is how you represented it?
Was it just bad dice rolls, or actual rules, or something else?
My crap photography and even crapper dice rolling! So I thought I’d use it as an excuse for my incompetent Generalship! I didn’t coordinate my attack on the tough nuts on the hill properly and got a good spanking. But the above version is the one I’ll be peddling back in Sparta!
"Wot did you do in the war Grandad?"
"I was with Harry... At The Bridge!"
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